...

i wonder if you'll see these words
and know
and read the things i wrote in secret
between the lines
in astral ink

i left you a gift there
a secret silence laden with
words unhurried by translation.

i'll say no more.
if i know you, you'll know
i've said
enough.

Thanksgiving 2007

Thank you

for grabbing my hair
when I needed yanking back
to reality.

for the soup you had
stewing, when i was.

for knowing but never
asking.

Don't thank me.
You see,

You've thanked me
by thinking
'bout me.

One Road

Bilbo used often to say there was only one Road; that it was like a great river: its springs were at every doorstep, and every path was its tributary. "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and
if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept
off to.
Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings

Mirror, rorriM

get a grip, I should tell myself,
in case
again
off my path I slip
too much to do…. to sit and ponder empty games
of
‘me and you’
too many tears to wipe away, to wonder how I’m going
to make you feel today
you feel Yourself. Not me.
so stop being blind and turn inward
see?
That is You. You never saw
Me.
how could you?
You were chained to home shore
whilst I was
f r e e

promise

I’ll Love you
even if you don’t Love me
make sure you’re okay
even if in kindness you’ll never pay
I’ll hold your hand
from afar
but not tell you it’s me,
kiss you good night
for free.
Wrap my wings around your life, with Love
unconditional and untold
even if you can never Love me
from around your soul my wings shall
never unfold

lowercase

my

‘i’

has weakened, faded a little

since

i

left the Capitol

my love is a lower case, now

a little lower, not towering as high

my

i

is softened, not by the sun as it once was

by tears. salt tears.

dissolving rain-pain-water tears.

i

cry.

and i use up less ink now too

now that my capitol is smaller

and my worry

over U

is stronger

than my

i.

touched by another

as I write,

another caresses your skin

another holds you

another has the feel of you

not me

Jealousy?

Did jealousy rear its ugly head

no

just a pull in my solar plexus

like you were trying to hurt me

were you?

probably

for the mean things I did to you

like be hurt you left me out

in the cold?

I never let another touch me

before your eyes

yet tonight you let someone do that

I know you don’t really mean…

…to hurt me…..


…..

if you do….

then maybe it’s okay

because I hurt you too.

faulted flakes

it’s funny how even snowflakes aren’t perfect,

and then if one slipped through the net

and made it

beautiful

it melts,

and is destroyed as it hits the road

or a passing car.

How a perfect landscape is covered,

lost, when the sun finds it too hard to hold its head up.


One second, a smile on your face

seems like an hour ago, when the frost of your temper

heats you up like a boiler

and my imperfect flake melts

even quicker.

apology

sorry
will that make things better?
to feel you tonight, I sleep with the aura
on your sweater
I miss you tonight
I wish you would wake, to make things right
I hate to fight
banish me from your heart
- take back the key to your home within
I don’t fit in
only Love is there
not fighting, harsh words
only Libra peace, fair.
Wake up, when you sleep it’s like you have already gone
without me
do you know how alone that would make me feel?
So open your eyes.
And see. I have returned.
Last time I never learned
about your Love for me
you’re here again to make me see.

Show me. tonight
deep
don’t leave me here. Wake up
have you turned off the light?

to eternally sleep..?

if

Think not of what may come of us
of time so short, and nights so few.
Think only of the time we spent together
A rooftop sunrise, clothed in dew.
Think not of Love that leaves at last
of muddied waters of Love long past.
Think only of wells of forgotten dreams
where our hearts reflect in the purest streams.
Think not of how long we may share this time
of how if we should part at last, you cannot be mine
Think only of what we both have together
then there can be no parting.
For we will be Forever.

between the lines

Between the lines

You don’t care about me

[do you care about me?]

go away, I never want to gaze upon your eyes again.

[hold me, and gaze into my eyes, and find

yourself there]

you mean nothing to me

[I’m scared I mean nothing to you]

I’ll never forgive you

[I want you to forgive me]

Please don’t leave me

[I Love you. And need you in my life]

the keys in the stars

The keys in the stars

May the Sun help you find your way home soon
guided by the light of the silvery Moon.
May Mercury’s wings give you youthful flight
to find the cloud where Venus arms hold tight.
May the thunder of Mars make you carry on
till fear has finally faded, gone.
Till the horizons of Jupiter lie just ahead
to break the chains of Saturn’s weary tread
May you be struck by lightening of Uranus, rebel
Against a life of illusions under Neptune’s spell.
For only then will you brave Pluto’s awesome power
And make it Home at last
At Earth’s final Twilight hour.

desserted

desserted


I wish, we could pour maple syrup on
our bitter lives. To bring sweetness back.
And stack
each moment of fun up, up high. Like a mountain of pancakes.
Why?
When I taste no sugar do you bring me salt? And when
I no longer need to
-- fight --
you face me with an iron fist - -crashing into me, verbally
and shall not halt…
*Sweeten*
my life with sugar. Strawberries with a lake of cream
so I may sail away from here.
This shore of pain.
So no one shall hear me, from this chocolate valley
scream…
….again.

spring snow

spring snow

*

spring is not far off, I can feel it

through Fall’s colors, I see new buds blossoming on trees

in my mind. When outside, others expect to be blind

by the brilliant white

of a snowy lane, I find

yellow daffodils, bouncing in the breeze

and a lamb in the field next door, sleeping under a tree in the shade

no one else sees, the sun radiating Love on the land below

how can they, when grit trucks salt the roads to their hearts

when all they can see is their rigid breath, and not a single car starts.

No one sees me swimming in the frozen lake, below the ice

how can they? They are all curled up in front of the fire

hibernating like mice. Can’t they see,

the white outside isn’t snow, it’s the light reflected

from Eden's glow

or is it just me? *

Scorpio Rising

Scorpio-Rising

I shall brave even this storm.

Even this.

I braved your silence

and found the courage to sing again.

I found rainbow rays

even mid-flight through the rain

of those trouble months when my heart

hung trailing as you looked the other way.

Today, I am stitching new clothes

and sweeping old memories and fragments of half-forgotten lies

and failed promises, a few broken years, and heavy

skies once blue,

into the trashcan of Yesterday with memory-tears

of there and you.

I shall rise again.

The hotter the flame, the higher I fly

fanned by the air sweeping under my wings

in a sky,

all of my own.

Wings you never broke, but made stronger

from waiting, and once hating to fly alone.

I’m carried by my own light now

and I shall brave even this storm.

Even this.

With no searchlight,

no money and no way out

except up. I’ll not miss the land below,

the wreckage of another dream

left behind.

I braved your silence, and your dead-end

cold and failing heartbeat night, and empty mind.

I have another quest, another adventure awaits.

And freedom, you know

is what I do best.

And as the rest are consumed by night,

a dawn is breaking and

I am taking

Flight.

Soul-Mate

Sit at the same table

…if there is one there now…

…and wait for me.

Buy a bottle of the same beer

in case the bar runs out

Make sure you hold my hand as

we walk

…and sneak a kiss.

Let’s choose a night

when Venus is shining.

In this, our beautiful Universal

Synchronicity timing

that all souls who Love

…feel in the silence.

Be smiling. Wear a striped shirt

And have an empty space beside you

And an empty place

somewhere, deep inside you

…so I can sit near.

So I can see you,

as I walk through the door.

A space so knowingly

left there .....so we can love once more.

Welcome to a Piece of a Pisces

These select poems come from a book I wrote between the years of 1999 to 2009 when I first moved from England, to the States, found love, lost love and the many twisting turns of Life's Road. I'm posting them here so that they may touch you, as much as the moments that's created the soul need to express them.

The book remains in its unpublished manuscript but this is the first step towards releasing them from their prison on the page, to fly to those who choose to hear their words and messages.

If you'd like to help me get them out there, drop me an email. And if you're just here to read...

Enjoy them!

Love,
Neil D Paris

Oct 1 2007
5:05pm