all said, all done

you still think of me
that's what you said

but
you'd rather be
alone, instead.

lookalike

will you always
haunt me
out of reach
call me
with a song,
a memory,
even when the number is foreign
and the telephone new.

will you?
send lookalikes to
my street.
cast old letters out to me
while I'm cleaning, to fall at my feet.

with familiar trip-me-up handwriting.

will you always remind
me of "if"

not with

will you remain
silent
except for a bitter winter
sent behind the sun
of spring.

will you leave me
with nothing.

and yet be with me
through everything?

under your reign

quietly, as gentle rain falls
it was with barely a moment
that you graced my space

slowly, as dawn rises
you smiled and
the night was pierced with radiant light.

deeply, nature flew south
a winter came bringing two snowflakes
identical yet different.

strangely, what was so rare
was so obvious and known.

really, how could there have been
a before this
when this is all I ever had.

quietly, even before the rain falls
you knew,
and in that knowing allowed me to fall
too.

Club Freedom

that moment
as I almost forgot to dance,
i saw you.
you were leaning by the door
eyes fixed solely on me.

i thought you'd moved to my city
till lasers from the strobe
moved through you and you smiled.

as I forgot to dance and
the shadows stretched
ever more before me
I saw you hold up a mirror
and I saw the light was not
reflected from the strobe
The shadows cast were
shaped like me. How could I not see?

I saw myself glowing in the mirror
you held.

you laughed

and we shared a joke we've been sharing for eons now.
the one when two
beings of light try on different disguises
and play Hide & Seek with each other.

you never left the door leaning there smiling.

yet I could feel you close.
and then I realized, that as you
looked into my eyes
you saw your own mirror reflected there

and you laughed harder.

I always forget to dance
and I realize then
that the moment you
are about to lose yourself

is when you can find all
that you are looking for.

never knew

Peaceful, non-judgmental and free
that's how I'll remember you
when I'm far from the ocean
yet lost at sea.

Safe, warm and allowed to be
I will honor the life that
you showed me.

'Midst the loud and wingless
a peaceful free

I never knew 'till you
that I could be.

Jan 22 03
Seattle, WA 6.41pm

isn't it?

isn't anger better than apathy
raised voices better
than cemetery silence

?

isn't "trying" harder
than giving up
but worth it ?

isn't telling how you feel
better than letting guess wrong
and isn't it much more painful
to love fast and free
isn't it so hard, but worth it
to love Me?

isn't it tiring to always be right
and isn't it better to fight by day
if only to enjoy the night?

and isn't it only games you are playing with me
isn't it hard when you are so seeking, so searching
to see
?

I've asked myself this.
But I won't tell me.

a bientot

This isn't the first time
I'm locked in your embrace

You've pulled the night over me
many times previously,
lying face to face.

and if only to
save tonight
I am letting you go
I put up no fight

This isn't the first time
This isn't the last time

you'll be knowing me.

dancing yellow, breathing blue

somewhere
i am dancing yellow
breathing blue breezes
quiet, where the
streams gently wash
away the horizon I ran from
before these poppies because
forests.
this somewhere is eternally
safe. peaceful as i always
new.
why did I ever believe
myself to have left the place
where I am still dancing yellow
....here....
breathing breezes blue.

true north

no one found such joy
in catching raindrops
in their mouth
or laughed so hard
at their body clock rewinding
people here use umbrellas
but you get soaked through
and marvel at the illusion age they give you.
no one found the day so full of stars
and the night
so sunlight bright
as you.

perhaps only me.
following the path in the bushes
that you carved through.,.,

Boys, Lost

I miss how you just
swing by unannnounced.
I leave the window open
for convenience, knowing full well
there are no more invitations.
the last party ended in a fiery trumpet
of streamers, red in their rage
violent in their violence.
and everyone went home.
your cologne,
what was its name now...?
I haven't opened my window
when it knocks these days
for you cannot fly through, Peter
and my Wendy House made of karma cards
have scattered to the wind
to a brand new Fool.