searchlights

I could walk up to the 50th floor of the downtown
Skyscrapers I'm overlooking, and you’d never know
You’d not see the rain pooling this side of the I5
Or the ashamed cascades cutting my cheeks with the lyrics
Of our hurt playing over.

I could eat meat, for the first time in over thirteen years
And you’d have no clue, nor care
And I could jump from this concrete wall
Too far down to the parking lot below
And you’d be somewhere else
Doing other things but worrying
Other things but bothering to leave an ounce
Of energy and attention for my overinflated
Ego.

I wonder which club is playing tonight
Or whether the searchlights in this LA sky
Are trying to find the reason why this week
Had to play out as it did

why i gained a lot of options,
and lost you.