ouroborous

A lot of things came full circle
this month
My surgery
our foreshadowed shadow
I guess that always hung overhead but which
by my divine power of self-deception
i believed gone.
A lot wrapped around, an ouroborous,
serpent circling a figure 8, eternally returning
back to where it came
so much returned, and resolved this week, after one year
did it create relief? i guess some
this time though, I'm letting all the pieces fall into place
and not fighting it. What is there to fight this time?
All is, was and will be One
And in that centre, there is no war
No reflected projected
no polarity
just an endless and eternal moment
smiling.

Healing Hurting

Maybe it's all mirrored
a surgeons knife cutting my skin
your heart torn
my feeling your care is conditional
and my faith in us,loosened by that
Maybe my healing of physical
aids yours
Maybe it's all mirrored
one of us is always looking at
at something that reflects within
i guess it's all a question of gaze
i'll heal in
and maybe you'll heal out
maybe we''ll come together
or maybe in the very act of becoming whole
the hole of you will seal
like the surgical skin i'm blotting with warm water
every day.

juggling your tears

I'm glad i woke
this morning
i thought i was late
but i was right on time
for another chance
another go around at this
Moment Thing

last night dragged

me down?
no.
i found the latch in the secret door
where i'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine
fine is all there ever is

and did u see it?

there!

i just died right here in my manager chair
and woke up to find you still there
still wondering when the clock would strike
its match, when your healing would ignite

when it's already come
you're whole and healed
and i'm smiling juggling your tears
and you laugh
as i fall over my own advice.

coulda woulda shoulda

i could wait
outside your shell
knock on your phone
shout up to your hate
and chase after your door

in the hopes
you'll open
answer
reply

but i wont
why not?
because my love is quiet
and it's sitting beside you
right now, and watched you
nail bars to the windows
me in a coffin
and yourself on a cross

our neverending story

there's no end point
no perfect us
no finally there
there's only the road we're on
discovering, forgetting, rediscovering
following winding ocean pathways
scaling salty cliff walls
sinking into sand
taking glass elevators to top floors
revolving at night
lying still in darkness
running in light
sharing words, stealing glances
knowing without proof
you stained my glass heart
holy,
and i believe.

Ventura Pier

remember it?
of course you do.

someone else remembered
the girl who I guess left us there
a balloon tied to the bench

a passing cyclist cut the tag
and read the verse, left for her

we though it strange

you showed me the cracks in the wood
and the water lapping beneath
and the walls we'd built previously
cracked too, and your heart lapped
my shore, or was it my neck
I felt it pounding in both.

we didn't walk all the way
we didn't need to.

remember it?
we don't need to go all the way
we already have
and now, we'll take our time
under Ventura Sun, to walk idly
with all the time in the world
taking it slowly
savoring the scent of sea-salt
and deciding it's time to go back to the car
because it's chilly,
and time for a hug.

maybe one day we'll reach the end of
the Ventura Pier
but maybe it doesn't matter
my memory of you floats on the water
that covers all shores
lapping all piers I dive from
when my heart joins yours.