Fall Back

did we all take a giant step back
when the clocks did
this eden-less Fall?

Blacks in California put a black mark against
same sex marriages
protesters punches and anarchists arrested
and you pushed me away when I was open armed
and waiting for your call.

did we all lose a bit of progress
when we elected a so-called Liberal
yet freedoms were stripped
when you forced space
and expected me to sit waiting til you wanted me again?

shipped back

we broke up last night
and I dialed your number by mistake today
somehow I memorized it as the only number id need to dial
so my fingers slipped
I gave you back all the gifts you so nicely gave me
because sometimes you recall them when you don’t get your way
so I shipped it all back and sail lighter today.
you said you’d get therapy
and for the first time I think that’s a great thing to do
since clouds of your past overshadowed our present
and I’m losing sight of you
maybe this Fall will lead to the rise of us (in winter, or spring?)
but I don’t know, neither do you
time has a way of sweeping us to pastures new.

37?

sorry I gave you
your gifts back
they were given to me under false pretenses
gifts that say ‘im sorry for doing A’
when A is all you know
and the only gift you have to give
how can fault that?
greatly and often, right…

sorry I gave you the nice shirt
I looked good in, back to you

why do I wanna look good in you
when you’ve caused me no end of trauma

I sat in YOUR hospital wing
with your drunken disorderly
I never said I liked clinics
yet I’ve sat there waiting for your results


wow i'm so not into you
anymore
I lost the spark for you
by your childish tantrums
it unnerves me that you’re 15 when your
ID says 37.
How can I imagine making love to you
when you can’t even string a sentence together
without the words ‘I can’t talk about this now’
emblazoned there in big bold print.

Taurus Bulldozing

I’ll bulldoze into your world
if I want to, okay?
there's no signs saying stay out
or go away
and if you want me to simply go
then just open your mouth
and say so.

less

I’ll be less aggressive,
less assertive
less call-it-like-it is
less complaining about rudeness and the state of the things
less pushy when you don’t call when you say
less upset when you get cold
I’ll be less in your face, less life's-a-circus
less calling you on your shit
less great at arguing and less mean
and less than the person you
secretly need me to be.

Saturn opposes Uranus

Saturn stay the same
opposes Uranus change it all
this week
u want to try and work it out
work what out, it clearly just doesn’t work
and its repeating
am I Uranus?
or do we both need fresh air freedom
far away for a while
to see what to salvage
and what to throw out with our wrath-water

pinball

aaaaaaaaaand….back to me.

this pinball game of step too far
and reel back in
is tiring
I seem to play too many balls or place too
many bets that we’ll be just fine
that fairness will out
when the bell sounds and you’re pushing me out
turned on when you’re happy
and switched off when you don’t want to play
it’s not fair in your pinball game
I don’t have rules
until I re-write them and re-wire them
they say ‘Don’t call me and go away’
its easier to play all or none
and its easier to say adieu and be gone.